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Yogi Bhajan Lecture: Where Does Anger Come From?

Excerpts from a lecture given on March 8, 1999 in Los Angeles, CA

There is only one power which is within us. It's a consistent addition of layer by layer by layer of anger. It starts at the time of birth. “Don't do this, don't do that, don't go, don't tell, don't, never, now.” That's how you grow. You have never been given an answer in rational logical form. It's called direct absurd command.

And you who are born with your own destiny are considered as a piece of furniture, a toy. For in the name of protection, you are being injected constantly. And that builds in you a solid volcano of anger. It's like one mile down in the earth there is huge lava circulating.

I am known to be very religious. This is all bogus claims—I am religious, you are not. What we have is simply more control than you. That's all. If you say I am better than you, or you are better than me, it is totally wrong. It's a fake idea. The fact is we are all the same. Some people simply have self-control by practice. They don't let the lava burst out and ruin the surroundings and burn everything.

All your faults come at the moment when your inner anger takes over and you have absolutely no control. There are two ways a man can be judged: when he is in love and when he is in an angry mood. Then what speaks is pure fire. You know fire purifies everything. So in our life there is a non-saving grace: that we burst out. We let the heat go. We get angry. We yell and scream. We say things which should not have been said. We attack people who should not be attacked. We break our relationships.

The constant fear of the fact that your husband doesn't love you and the constant months and years that you loved him is reciprocated, and ultimately it goes. First the bedroom separates, then life separates, then divorce happens. But what is the base of this divorce, what is the base of this unfriendliness, what is the base of separation? When your own inner anger inflicts the insecurity and pushes it to the hilt, you will become foul. Then one thing will lead to the other.

Try to understand that everybody is angry inside. They have not been played well, they have not been cared for well, they have not been paid enough attention, they have not been loved enough. Do you know that when you are in anger and you are insecure and you yell and scream, it takes away from you your need to be friendly. And it puts another person in a state of fear. You know what happens? Communication breaks.

You live in the agony of your parents' past and your own past. How can anybody promise you a future? You cannot guarantee your own future. You do not have tolerance, patience, discipline to calm yourself down. Give yourself a chance. The only way to conquer inner anger and burn it out is simple. Will you join me?

[Yogi Bhajan teaches a kriya.]

Now listen. You can do this eleven minutes every day and your entire life will change. It looks like a very simple exercise and it is simple. Your own fingers, your own arms, your own breath—nothing foreign, but the promise it gives you is a new life.

Anger gives you frustration. Anger gives you loud frustration. Anger gives you frustration and actions in relationships, in your social life, in your family life, and in your working life. And sometime a stage comes when you cannot help yourself. And you will get so isolated that nobody wants to help you. It is not anybody's fault. You want to be you, but you forget the other person wants to be the other person. You want to have a relationship where you come in the center. Your way will not prevail. The other person's way will not prevail. Study your ways and study other person's ways and bring them in the center. If it is not possible then ask, communicate. Don't feel inside; what is inside will mix with anger and become a volcano. Say it out loud, “My dear, I have this difficulty. I have this doubt. I don't understand this. I don't understand that.”

You know if there is a glow on your face and your personality is smiling and you are walking tall and you have all the strength, a hundred people will love you. If you are brick-faced, do not talk, do not look up and see into the eyes of somebody, what are you going to be? Dead rat.

Communication is the key role of a human. A human has to develop two things: you have to develop your frontal lobe so that your personality is controlled, and control your upper palate so the hypothalamus and thalamus can be controlled and they are developed. If these two things are developed you can read in between the lines, you can see through walls, you can be intuitively alert.

© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan