Excerpts from a lecture on 1/25/90
What is the role model that each woman, by her own right, becomes successful? If she is not successful it doesn't mean that a person is not successful; it means an entire family and an entire future is not successful. The psychological problems are very powerful unsolved handicaps.
To us woman is a doormat; a childbearing factory; a sexual, sensual, satisfying object and once in a while she should take the abuse. She should be pretty, very sensual, sexual, social, bring in an equal amount of money, raise children—drop them at school, pick them up, and go to work. And once in a while she should give all the sexual satisfaction; the food should be perfect; the house must be neat, clean and tidy; and we must have respect among the neighbors. You put it all together and you need twelve women in one woman to complete it. It is true. How can one woman become a woman plus twelve women?
At night man becomes passionate and female becomes horny and they have intercourse, and out of many such intercourse, she becomes pregnant. Now there is a baby and it has to grow. There is no readiness, there is no training, there is no teaching. There is no readiness of what a parent is, there is no profile, there are no blueprints. There is nothing. That's why this problem is happening. They cannot relate to a child as their own future. A child is a byproduct of sexual intercourse.
The institution of a child is considered as “I had my baby” and nothing more. How many mothers are ready in first aid? How many mothers are psychologically ready to handle a child? How many mothers are ready to help a child to nurture and grow; to get familiar with higher mathematics? Honestly tell me how many mothers have time to do this. The social structure is based on looking pretty, being sexy, and making a killing. There is no training that life is responsibility, responsibility, and responsibility and we have to develop ability, ability, ability to face this responsibility.
Our marriages fall apart because we cannot take responsibility. As parents we fail because we cannot pay the rent (pay-rent). The process to deliver is not in our training.
If you are willing to become parents, then you should be in a fully trained situation to be parents.
If you treat a son as a son today, it is the biggest mistake you can commit. But if you treat your son today that by his own right and grace he is a man of tomorrow and affectionately facilitate his development, that's the best you can do. There is nothing in between the majority of men when they grow up; because of the harsh temperament of the mother, they cannot relate to a woman, and because of the lousy behavior of the mother, they cannot trust a man or trust a woman. Those after-effects are very serious in society. Psychologically it is very dangerous to be incomplete parents because when the children become adults, they are very ‘adult-rated.’
You know what Kundalini Yoga is? It is putting your own energy in the excellence of your performance and tapping into the infinite energy. When you were a child in the womb of the mother, you lived by the Kundalini energy. That is your basic development. Why not use that energy now?
© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan
This lecture is available at the Yogi Bhajan Library of Teachings