Yogi Bhajan on Crossing the Crisis

“Remember, a woman who does not allow inner conflict to come to crisis is generally successful. But what does a neurotic woman do? She will wind her husband up, she'll wind her neighbors up, she'll wind other people up.

Mostly, the problem with a woman is that she will take the inner conflict and project it onto some male or some female; somebody else. The inner conflict is being expressed by an outer body, other person. Either things are overdone or underdone. They do not behave appropriately. They are not getting satisfaction out of their job, they are only doing it. It is called provoking somebody else for your sake. Mostly your relationship with your husband is to wind him up.

An inner conflict starts with, 'Why me?' Write it down, it is a very important expression. 'Why me? Always, again and again! Time and again. What the heck! Who is this? What is this? Oh God, I can't take it!' It is said with a rising pitch, just like a musical scale, inner conflict starts. Then it becomes a crisis. 'Oh God, again! Same thing! Another phone call! My mother-in-law!'

The reason is not that you're not wealthy. The reason is not that you're not healthy. The reason is not that you're not intelligent. All these things are given to woman by God. But you have to understand. You have inner conflict also. You have inner crisis also. Learn to deal with it and never, as a woman, deal it through outer sources. You know what other sources are? This is when you say, 'I don't know,' 'I can't say it.' You know when you say that it means you are looking for somebody to be used. And that manipulating woman shall, in the end, cause her own disaster, defeat and destruction.

So when you get married if you do not handle your inner crisis and conflicts, you immediately start working through your husband. You start creating conflicts through him, crises through him, you lay numbers. One day he wakes up. He goes to a restaurant or he goes to somebody's house, and he meets a women who's non-manipulative, a straight woman. And whenever such a man who lives with a manipulating woman full of crisis meets with a straight woman, he will never come home the same.

Then when you try to create crisis, and work through him, he'll start denying you. It is called the slipping-away period. Finally you will call and ask him to pay alimony, and he will tell you to take one month extra. If your divorce settlement is fifty-fifty, he'll say, 'Take seventy-five percent.' He will like to get rid of you as fast as he can and you'll be alone.

You are forgetting one thing. You have children to carry with you. You have memories to carry with you. You have romance to carry with you. And you have love to carry with you. One day you styled yourself, beautified yourself, dressed yourself up in the memory, in the love of that man. Day by day there is a panorama of that memory in the subconscious and then it is all gone, it's all dead. And in the woman's aura, a man never leaves.

Say 'God made me a woman, I am a woman to be, now, now, now.' (Students repeat.) Now this is a subconscious affirmation. This subconscious affirmation should be in your memory. It should always remind you that you are a woman made in God and because of the crisis and the conflict you have to be a woman to deal with now, now, now. Woman has no tomorrow if she does not have now, if she does not have today. And why are you so powerful? Because you are a woman? Because you don't grow a beard, that's why? You are the channel for humanity, God's creation, God's creativity and also that of the male. Read that shabad.

In India the psychoanalysis session is replaced by the peanut hour. At about three o'clock all women finish their work, come out, with the charpoys, those outdoor beds, and have peanuts. They talk about each other's problems. And those problems are so naked that I cannot repeat them. They counsel each other and they advise each other. Who can be better counsel than your own self? I wish that they recited this shabad to get everything over with, but they don't.

They don't discuss the weather. You know it is very funny, in America you discuss the weather, but in India they discuss personal inner crises at lunch hour. They eat and they talk. And their chit-chat is exactly forty-five minutes just like a session of psychological analysis. And that is how they do it. Every woman knows everybody. That could be a problem. They all know. But the funniest part is they never say that they know. They keep what they call professional courtesy. Remember, whenever you counsel somebody don't remind them of what you know or else you open up the whole panorama which you have already gone through.

So the basic problem with a woman is not the woman outside, not the woman as she is, it is the woman within the woman, the woman with inner crises, with inner conflict. Where do you get those crises? Your insecurities come when your father did not give you support and an image in the way it should be. You will like to get that support from the husband. You will be demanding and dragging to the extent that you will almost freak out.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training, 1977

Make Your Decision to Suffer or Not Suffer

"Aren't  these three statements  very common with you?  "I am starving.  I am freezing.  I am abandoned."  It's surprising when I hear these fat ladies saying, "I'm starving."  It totally freaks me out.  Is this lady lying to me or to the whole world?

I am wrong in one sense, I don't believe a woman can suffer.  And I have not yet met one woman who thinks she can not suffer.  Do you know what the fight is?  The fight is that I, in my heart of hearts, believe that no woman can suffer.  How can a woman suffer, tell me?

What a lie it is to believe a woman can suffer.  I am not saying you don't suffer.  I think you are the worst creature and you suffer the worst.  And God bless you for that.  You should suffer more, because you don't rate.  How can woman, who is the channel for God's creation, suffer?  How can a channel suffer?  A channel can not suffer.  Either the transmission is wrong or receiving is wrong. The channel has nothing to do with anything, provided it is fixed with the frequency.

My entire knowledge comes from the basis that woman is not born to suffer.  She creates suffering because she is the channel of creation.  Every woman among you creates her own suffering.  If you can create your own suffering, you can stop your own suffering.

I have a firm belief, it is my dying declaration, I'll never change from it.  The ugliest woman can not suffer, the prettiest woman can not suffer.  But the prettiest woman suffers just as the ugliest one.  Because the ugly woman suffers in her ugly way, the pretty woman suffers in her pretty way, but suffering is there.  

I have another difference from a normal human being.  I am not interested in how wrong I am.  All I want to know is how wrong it is and then I immediately want to work and know how right it can be, in the shortest possible time.  I don't like the gap between me and my goodness.  Have no gap between you and your goodness.  With that one principle you shall succeed.....

I am freezing; I am starving; I am abandoned."  As long as these three statements shall live in your dictionary, every woman shall suffer.  Because these are the expressions that take you away from yourself.  They take you away from your virtues.  They take you away from your strength.  They take you away from your consciousness and they take you away from your intelligence.  You don't have to find an enemy.  These three expressions are your enemy.

Now let me tell you how people look at it.  When you say you are freezing, a person automatically gets the right to approach you.  A frozen thing is a dead thing, and a dead thing can be used, abused and misused to any extent.  The heat of life has been denied you by your own expression.  In simple English you are opening yourself for prostitution:  mental, physical and spiritual.

The second expression:  When you say you are starving, you are denying any gift, virtue, grace or attraction you command.  You are becoming a personified dying misery.

Third:  You call yourself abandoned.  You are disconnected from the life force of love.  This is what those words mean.

I know they do not mean the same as what you mean when you say them.  To you it is a superior dramatization of your personality, an expression.  You foolish women do yourself permanent damage by drawing attention and playing the drama which will fix your grave and put the death stone on you.  That's how truthful I can be.  You all do that.

Your nobility is not based on your appearance.  Your nobility is based on your language.  Your prosperity is based on your language, your security is based on your language.  Your tomorrow is based on your words of today.  If any creature on this planet has to be careful what they say, it should be none other than a woman.  You are just like that Rolls Royce of mine which has no steering wheel.

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training, June 29, 1987

Woman's Right to Resolve Inner Crisis

"Try to understand. You have the first right to solve your inner crisis. And don’t let it become a crisis, deal with it at the conflict stage. Say “God made me a woman, I am a woman to be, now, now, now.” (students repeat).

Now this is a subconscious affirmation. This subconscious affirmation should be in your memory. It should always remind you that you are a woman made in God and because of the crisis and the conflict you have to be a woman to deal with now, now, now. Woman has no tomorrow if she does not have now, if she does not have today. And why are you so powerful? Because you are a woman? Because you don’t grow a beard, that’s why?

You are the channel for humanity, God’s creation, God’s creativity and also that of the male. Read that shabad Guru Nanak wrote, “Bhand Jamee-ai Bhand Nimee-ai.” A renaissance took place when a man of God by the name of Nanak put it out. At first Nanak was not Guru. He earned it. Through the sand and the aakh he purified himself through Ahar kriya and he put himself on the bed of stones to understand the pain of the universe.

It was the grace of God that he got merged with God. This is the shabad of that Gruu. Nanak means where there is no no. Naa-nak is simple Punjabi.

This is a shabad he wrote which has a blessing to resolve your inner conflict and your inner crisis no matter how strong it is. So sing it inwardly, sing it from the navel. And don’t sing it like it is coming from outside. Imagine that it is coming from beyond you, getting in you, circulating by the earth channel and going back. Create a circle that way. That is how you should chant.

The word is bhand. It touches the upper meridian number thirty-six. When the hypothalamus is stimulated with that it is enough to resolve the inner conflict right there and then. Neurons exchange into the velocity and capacity and grey matter circulates in the brain. They could have used another word for woman, naaree, or istree. There are so many words but he chose bhand. The lips are very politely together, the tongue goes right to the upper palate and the tongue sits right behind the crisis point. It is the thirty-sixth meridian on both sides.

Pronounce the word carefully because whenever you recite this, surprisingly you’ll get out of your inner problem on the spot."

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training 1987

Click HERE to hear Bhand Jamee-ai Bhand Nimee-ai.

Short Quotes From Yogi Bhajan

“Conflict starts the crisis and the crisis makes you hyper. Hyper makes you insensitive. Insensitivity makes you numb. Numbness is your biggest defect as a woman. When you become numb you fail, you divorce, you do not live, you do not handle things and you do not understand them. It is that numbness which you create by the inner crisis. That is why you are always unhappy. And all the wealth, all the comfort, all these cars, all these houses, all this social, individual play, these dinners, restaurants, all that does not make you happy as a woman.

Conflicting reaches the stage where it brings crisis. 'I am always alone. It is always me!' If crises are established to the point that you become neurotic, then you can not resolve them. What is the use of it all? It is always me….If you become psychotic, they can absolutely destroy you. But if you bring logic and reason into it, then you can consider your pros and cons.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training, 1987

“Try to understand. You have the first right to solve your inner crisis. And don’t let it become a crisis, deal with it at the conflict stage. Say 'God made me a woman, I am a woman to be, now, now, now.' Now this is a subconscious affirmation. This subconscious affirmation should be in your memory. It should always remind you that you are a woman made in God and because of the crisis and the conflict you have to be a woman to deal with now, now, now. Woman has no tomorrow if she does not have now, if she does not have today.”

~Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training, 1987

“When a woman knows a man is doing his number, she should not wait a long time. That is what I mean. There is always a recourse to put a man’s head in its proper place. She shouldn’t waste a lot of time to show her intention that she is a graceful, honest, noble woman who is unavailable and is not a game.”

~Yogi Bhajan, Women-In- Training, July 7, 1978