Yogi Bhajan on Communication

“Sometimes in your husband and wife relationship you do not know the value of communication. This is how communication is: When you are under terrible stress, just to talk to somebody you can depend on and to talk sweetly and nicely, is more virtuous than anything else.

My personal feeling is that if you can rest, relax, rejoice, make inductive and deductive inquiries before speaking and making a judgment, before accusing or getting accused, if you can just make your life relative, that is called relationship with life. That means that every incident, accident, action and reaction with your life should be relatively known to you in relation to others' environments and circumstances. Please don't live life "solo."

These are the steps to live a relative life:
• Try to investigate the environment and circumstances.
• Hear every opinion.
• Consolidate the summary.
• Re-inquire and ask questions.
• Make a report in your mind.
• Discuss that report with those concerned.
• Try to elevate the situation rather than making it a quarrel or a war.

For example, somebody might come and give me a report that my subordinate officer is taking a bribe. What I will do is not jump to the conclusion right away that he's taking bribes and that's it. What we will do is try to investigate it, see how far it is true. Suppose we find out that it is true. Then what we'll do is call the officer concerned and tell him, not that he's taking bribes but, "Well, there's a rumor around that you are taking a bribe and it is a bad reputation; try to mend yourself." We are giving him a warning. Okay? After warning him we'll put investigators around him and try to catch him red-handed with the whole thing, and then start disciplinary action. This is the only way to avoid premeditated notions, opinions, phobias or fears. Do not live by premeditated phobia or anger. Two things will mess up your life: premeditated fear or phobia, and anger. There is no place in your life for that. And lastly, you cannot make your life a reaction to others. You must make your life your own. If you react to somebody, then you will never live your own life and you will never enjoy your life. Therefore, under no circumstances react.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training, Espanola, July 22, 1981

How To Get Out of a Problem

“"When there is a problem somewhere:

1. Know what you know.
2. Do not get upset about what you do not know.
3. Let the expression come out.
4. Figure out from expressions what the impression is.
5. Look at yourself; decide whether your talk is spiritual, mental or physical.
6. Expand your values and virtues.
7. Do not engage in conflict.
8. Avoid jealousy.
9. Your guiding principle should be to live and let live.
10. Do not question, try to understand.

Following these guidelines you will find comfort and peace. Above all you will find yourself and your sensory system. You will be able to communicate with everybody because your love will flow. When you fly above the clouds, there is sunshine all around. Below there is rain, clouds and thunder. When you rise above conflict there is freedom and the vastness of higher consciousness.

Problems that appear to be very serious become smaller and smaller, and finally disappear. Do not ask anyone what you should do. Ask yourself, “Can I rise above?” and then just go. Your sensory system and your intuition will give you a way out, because every day is a new day.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, August 21, 2000

Short Quotes From Yogi Bhajan

“STUDENT: How should a woman communicate with herself?

YOGI BHAJAN: I am the grace of God. And then find out where the grace is not, and eliminate it. Just clean your own house, clean your own living room. It should be your attitude that I am going to live clean, period. And every day you have to clean your mental garbage through meditation.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training 1981

“I have never seen a male, if provoked properly, who will not become rude in his language. If he doesn't become rude in his language, you can get his medical test, he may not be a male at all. It is the quality of the male to lose his temperament. It is the quality of the female not to lose the temperament. They are polarities. It is the quality of the male to seek, it is the quality of the female to give. Males are very demanding by nature. And when they are overly demanding, they are discourteous. Whenever a male becomes demanding, he will be discourteous, remember that. Whenever he becomes frustrated, he will be rude. In reality, everything which we call negative is the polarity in the male, and everything we call positive is the polarity in the female. It is not just now; it is how the Creator has created these two human beings of different nature.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training 1977

“STUDENT: What is the best way to deal with a man's depression or his negativity?

YOGI BHAJAN: The best way to deal with man's depression is hot milk. Yeah, that is practical. You must know what his favorite drink is other than booze and all that jazz. Some people love milk, some people love these teas, some love some juice, some like this. There is a dish in the life of every man which he likes the most. If you do not find that dish, you do not know what to do in depression. Just shut up, go and make that dish and put it on the table.”

Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training 1977

“Husbands can compliment through silence. When a husband speaks thusly, go deeper, there is something wrong somewhere. Marriage is a security and it is a relationship of silence. It is a sealed relationship that both shall live together come what may. When a husband starts playing games, forget it. Who can compliment the Shakti? Who can compliment a woman? God couldn't do it. God had to create this whole world to compliment women's creativity, Adi Shakti. Why compliment? Woman can only compliment herself through her soul. There is no soul on this earth which can compliment a woman.”

~ Yogi Bhajan, Women-In-Training 1978