Mother - The First Teacher
Yogi Bhajan, 7/4/96. Excerpted from a talk at Women's Camp.
Used with permission from I Am A Woman.
Why does the male child stop listening to you in the third year? And why does the female child stop obeying you in the eleventh year?
As a mother, you always try to tell the child what to do. The girl child, because of her double brain and her balance, can tolerate it a little more than a male child. The male can’t tolerate it. Your first tragedy is that you tell your children what to do. All of you, from A to Z, are guilty of it. That is why the world is absolutely horrified.
You have no right to tell the child what to do. The child has the right to know what is good and what is bad. If you teach the child good and bad, the child will never leave you. There’s no better student. You have never accepted a child as a God-given student. You always accept the child as your possession. That’s your mistake.
Now, let’s look at this shabad, Guru Dev Mata. Guru Dev Mata: that’s the first line. Guru means the one who brings you from darkness to light. Dev means transparent. “Transparent” is a definition of God – everywhere but seen and unknown – it is the power of the Unknown.
"Oh Mata." Ma means moon, Ta means sun. “Oh, the combination of my moon and sun, you are my Transparent Enlightener.” Guru Dev Mata. A mother who does not play this role should never have a child. All conflict in this entire universe is caused by the role of the mother. It’s a very painful and unfortunate role. A mother is not a person. A mother is a Guru Dev Mata.
This shabad says, “Guru Dev Mata. “Oh mother, you are the Guru Dev, from the day of the first breath to the last day. That’s the relationship you must have with your child.” Now look into yourselves. You are mothers. How many of you have acted that way? Are you not supposed to be responsible and shouldn’t you be punished for bringing children to this Earth and not discharging your responsibility? I apologize to you. I don’t want you to take it personally. You should absolutely not take today’s lecture personally. You bring forth a life, and then after 3 years, you own son tells you what to do. His first word comes out, “No,” and after 11 years, your daughter starts telling you, “No.” It’s a fundamental truth. And then you buy and bribe with gifts. You are the biggest, most corrupt, most cruel institution on this Earth.
The first line of this Shabad, Guru Dev Mata, is: “You are my true Guru, pure, transparent, angelic. You are my angelic Guru. Oh, mother, the combination of Ma and Ta…Oh, my mother, you are my transparent guide, my God, you are my beauty, you are my bounty, you are my everything.” Guru Dev Mata. A mother who is not Guru Dev Mata is going to lose her child, her man, her life and her opportunity on this Earth. You have 16 times more intuition, 16 times more intelligence. But you are a joke!
You were given that 16 times more by God itself, so that you could cure the Earth, because you are also a janani. Nothing can be without your psyche. It’s not given to you to be sensual and sexual, to put yourself up for sale, or to become models and remodels and socialites. You are the first teacher. You have never understood that you are the most perfect source of God to create Divinity – and that through Divinity, you create identity; from identity you cannot create Divinity. But Divinity is taboo to you. Instead, you show your breasts, wear miniskirts, and put your sex on sale.
That child has a 108-element sensory system. Try to see a child and figure it out. Understand it. You never gave the child its place. You never gave the child its discipline. You never gave the child its value. You never did a thing, and then you blame your children for going nutty, because they have become drug addicts, or they are not in a position to make something of their lives. How many of you sat with your one-year-old child in your lap, and through the power of your meditation put that child to sleep?
The child knows you. In his psyche, he wants to be important. He wants to sit up here and lecture you instead of me. It’s true. He doesn’t want to be played with. Force doesn’t work with him. You say children don’t know? Who has told you children don’t know? Children know so much. There are 108 elements, and their mega-power is 30 trillion per unit.You are ten trillion cells, with three living components, which means 30 trillion cells. So, you are 30 trillion cells and the child’s psyche is 108 elements. Multiply that by the magnetic power and a child has the power of a sun. As the sun’s rays can spread to the universe, so the child’s vibration, in his psyche, can study the whole situation better than you.
You don’t understand. Your strength is not your ability to sell yourself. Your strength is your elevated spirit – when the face of a woman is so dynamic, so saintly, so pure and so nice, a man has no power to even speak. You must have seen that with some women, a man cannot say a word. There’s a strength – and that strength is very strong. That’s the real strength of a woman. Today, tomorrow and every day, your life will be nothing but sorrow if you do not rise above your attachment to yourself and understand that you are born to be Guru Dev. That’s why the Guru said, “Guru Dev Mata.”You don’t have to learn anything. I am not asking you to read books. I’m not asking you to do anything. Just understand this one line: “I am going to be Guru Dev. I am what I am.” See how your life changes.
© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan