A personal story to share of love unfolding, gratitude and prayer......from Panch Nishan Kaur
Inhale, Exhale and begin. A story of Love, of prayer, of grace and dropping Fear. When I met Yogi Bhajan, the Siri Singh Sahib, at 19 he was still in the mode of arranging and engaging couples. At the age of 19 the thought of marriage was, in the least, frightening, completely un-compelling, and a big question mark. I remember telling a friend, “the only thing that scares me about the Siri Singh Sahib is the possibility of him engaging me.” As my spiritual teacher, I felt I would listen to and do anything he asked of me….but what would I do if he asked of me this? Then of course as Spiritual Teachers do, he confronted that fear. The moment I dreaded occurred. When I was about 21 or 22 he called me in to meet with him regarding a work situation. After he dealt with that he asked the question I feared most. “Are you married yet?” All noise within me went silent – my experience of hearing changed, I went into that state of shuniya where you are so present in yourself and so absent at the same time, the still point where the divine dwells within. I replied “No Sir.” He went on to say, “Is there anyone there?” (meaning am I interested in anyone) and I replied, from that state shuniya, of no thought, “just the Guru Sir.” And he said to me “perfect answer – it is all covered.”
Years passed, the Siri Singh Sahib passed – my devotion stayed alive. Challenges arose, my family/my community began to fight – I stayed devoted – I couldn’t let the magnitude of my love die. My hope remained alive. I reached the point in my personal growth, healing and evolution where marriage became interesting, became a longing on the surface of my being. As sacred texts describe marriage as the ‘ultimate union’ as the ‘highest form of yoga,’ for me I realized this was the test and opportunity of my lifetime. I couldn’t hide. The opportunity for me was not to just be an ascetic or not to just be a lover in the realm of worldly attachments. I had to do both, what Yogi Bhajan often described as the path of a householder of Miri and Piri, the temporal and the infinite collide. I found myself wishing he was still alive and could guide me or pick a partner for me because I wasn’t having much luck choosing for myself! My Saturn Return kicked me a bit in the butt and taught me about destiny and fate, and personal will bowing before Gods will that state of Sat Pad.
After 11 years of focusing my energy and devotion on my path, on my dharma, with my Guru, watering the soil of my own soul…..So it goes two summers ago I was divinely guided to meet the man, the Singh that I am to share this lifetime with. My gratitude is immense for all the forces seen and unseen that brought us together which leads me back to today – Venus day – as a day to share this sweet story with you. Last weekend the Singh I refer to Hari Arti and I traveled by train from Germany to Paris. Saturday, the day of the Full Moon in Virgo, sitting on a bench upon the banks of the Seine this Singh asked me to spend a life with him as his wife. To acknowledge this commitment he set up a little alter upon the stone bench with a picture of Guru Nanak, a candle, a ring inscribed with the words of my teacher. We recited an Ardas a prayer asking for guidance and blessings as we begin this journey, of two souls becoming one. Our eyes were closed people were shuffling by, boats were passing the world was moving yet for us time seemed to stop. We created a bubble a vortex of prayer. Everything around us seemed so far away. After we both finished reciting our personal prayer and opened our eyes the first thing we saw was a big group of people walking toward us down the bank of the Seine. We immediately noticed the stillness around them and the slow and thoughtful pace that guided their movement and realized the group was led by robed Monks. As they passed they invited us to walk with them they were Buddhist from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village doing a walking meditation in support of the people of Japan and Libya. It was the most beautiful omen to have the opportunity as the first experience after making this commitment and prayer between the two of us to then offer our prayer to those suffering to join hands with other spiritual traditions, experience our one-ness and serve humanity through our subtlety of support, meditation and realization that we are all one. Yogi Bhajan often talked about the importance of serving the Sangat, especially when challenges come, serve. We felt this message communicated loudly and the presence of our Teacher. Our marriage must be about this; to serve the Sangat, to serve our human family.
And as we all do our sadhana, our daily practice, and evoke peace within a prayer is created for peace to prevail. As we meditate around the world and remember the sutra – “Recognize the other person is you” we evoke healing, understanding and compassion for all those suffering at this time. As we continue the RaMaDaSa meditation and offer prayers to Japan we connect with many different spiritual traditions doing the same, a reminder of our oneness. We are all so deeply connected around the world.
The last thing that I want to offer comes from the heart and depth of my personal experience. Whether you are longing for a life-partner or faced with any challenge…..Never give up hope – let your devotion guide – pull you forward no matter how dark it might get or how rambunctious the mind might become, remember the Guru that force within you that brings you from darkness to light. From my own experience, I promise you, if you remember you will be remembered. Focus on what you are here to do – let the breath the prana guide you. On each breath as you remember your creator, as you bring alive the sound of your soul, god within you stirs your longings into reality.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience love – profound and vast – unlimited.
“Falling into Prayer is the same as falling in Love. It is an infinite fall. You can never come out of it. And in all of human existence these two experiences are the highest.” -Yogi Bhajan